Creamy Chipotle Chicken

"Chipotles to me are a one-of-a-kind pepper because they're smoked jalapenos, so they're fiery and they're smoky. It's good to use chipotles in salsas or soups or condiments - that works really well. To me, they always really pick up anything you put them in."

-Bobby Flay

I have never been a huge fan of spicy foods. I'm no glutton for self-prescribed pain. Most of the time, flavor is what suffers; you get a big bowl of fiery chili, and yes, it'll burn your mouth and throat so bad you'll need a fire hose, but you lose all flavor! It becomes nothing but a bowl of burn. And when you're already trying to watch your calories, you'd at least like to taste what little food you're carefully shoveling in, right?

That's where this recipe comes in. It's got a richness in a thick sauce, flavored by garlic, cumin, and most of all, smoky chipotles. We're not even going to use a can of condensed soup to get the creamy texture; it'll come from Mexican crema. Though it looks like something you might want to clean up off the carpet, it's pretty delicious. Let's make some creamy chipotle chicken.

This is going to be one of those recipes where you can tweak as you need. It's going to have some significant heat, which you can dial up for your own pleasure, or remove almost entirely. You could probably make this whole thing in a slow cooker, too. I would probably just save the crema for the end, so you're not simmering liquid sour cream into a disgusting hot mess of bacteria. Appetizing, I know.

The chipotle pepper is fantastic. It's a smoked jalapeno, so it's going to have a similar amount of heat. That is to say, not a ton. They do contain the seeds, so keep that in mind. They're kept in adobo sauce, which is a marinade of sorts made from vinegar, paprika, garlic, oregano, and some other spices. It's tasty. Once the peppers are dried and smoked, they're placed into the sauce and canned. They'll look sort of like sun-dried tomatoes. When they're used in recipes, they bring an earthy, smokey heat that's pretty easy to pick out, but really adds to the whole dish. But they can be hot.

I don't handle spice well.

As we go through this, just keep that in mind. If you can't handle a jalapeno with seeds, you're going to need to dial back the inclusion of chipotles. You'll still want the flavor, since, you know, otherwise this is a tomato cream sauce, but you can get the flavor without the kick if you use fewer chipotles.

Anyway, all warnings aside, let's get started. You're going to need:

A bunch of crap. But it's all pretty cheap, I guess?

• 4 chicken breasts (but any pieces can be used!)
• 1 large or 2 small white onions
• 1 28-oz can of whole, peeled tomatoes
• 1 small can of chipotle chilis in adobo
• Mexican crema (creme fraiche is also cool, but I advise against yogurt or sour cream)
• Garlic
• Oregano
• Chili powder
• Ground cumin
• Salt/Pepper

The great news it that there really isn't too much prep work on this one. I'm not going to make you meticulously chop herbs, or butcher and entire side of beef, or see how deep you can get your arm into a turkey. Disappointing, I know, but I made this recipe while recovering from a business trip, where I had zero energy, and didn't want to deal with something super crazy. So we all win!

Start by getting a large pot with a large, flat bottom on the stove with some oil in the bottom. Heat that bad boy up. I'm using my steel dutch oven. This doesn't need to be super tall, so it works perfectly.

I hope to God you know what this looks like, but I took a nice photo, so here you go.

Get your chicken prepped by throwing all the breasts in a small bowl, and cover with olive oil, salt, and pepper. I used a Mexican seasoning salt, but most of its flavor will be lost, so do whatever you like.

Nothing beats a bowl of raw chicken! RECIPE COMPLETE. DIG IN.

If you don't want your hands to get goopy with chicken juice (you don't), and you don't want salmonella (you don't), a good way of handling this step is to use your tongs to move the breasts, so they get oiled, and then move them around more to spread the seasoning. Or get your hands all disgusting, and keep washing them until they're raw, and prone to more infection (you dummy). Just do what I say, okay? After your chicken is coated, let's toss it into that hot pan, and brown it on medium-high heat.

Perfect fit.

This will take a few minutes, and you can do the next chunk of prep while this is happening. You don't need the chicken to fully cook, since it'll sit in a sauce for a while, so keep that in mind. We just want some color and flavor added to the outside.

While browning, you're going to want to crush your tomatoes. Just take the whole can and slop it into your bowl you used for the chicken. Take your hand, and get squishing. Yes, it's gross. Yes, the feeling is weird. But shut up, you're a grown-ass adult. You can wash off the tomato guts. And look on the bright side! You can finally reenact all of your Temple of Doom fantasies!

KALI MAAAAAAAAAAA

Anyway, once squished, set the bowl aside, and chop up your onion(s). If you're using garlic gloves, now would be a good time to mince those up. Personally, I'm using the big ol' jar of it, since I tend to use so much.

Onions for days, son.

Once you're done with that, you chicken should be looking pretty good on one side. Flip 'em over.

Browned chicken, yisssssss

While you're searing the other side, get your little can of chipotles, and start chopping. I will point out that if you've never opened one of these, you're in for a suprise. They look like a little can of gross, gloopy baby hearts. Or chicken livers. Or something similarly awful and non-delicious.

Hahaha, gross.

I mean, really. Look at these things. they just don't look appetizing at all:

No me gusta los "slimy baby hearts"

Once you get over how gross and slimy these things are, you're going to want to take 4 or 5 of the peppers, and just mince the hell out of them.If you want this thing to be hot, you're going to want to just throw the entire can in. If you want a gentle chipotle hint, use 1 or 2. Again, they do have seeds and such, so you're going to get plenty of peppery punch with heat, and lots and lots of flavor. Make sure you save the sauce they're in, too; we're going to add that.

Bleh. This just isn't appetizing in the slightest. Stains the hell out of a cutting board, too.

By this time, your chicken should be done. Pull it onto a plate, and lower the heat in the pot to medium or medium-low. Throw in your onion and some salt, and let that sweat down. Once the onions are translucent, add 2 tablespoons of garlic and 1 teaspoon each of cumin, oregano, black pepper, and chili powder. Stir it all up, making sure to scrape the bottom for the fond that came from the chicken. It's free flavor! Take it!

This is going to smell so good, you'll probably burn your nose on the bottom of the pan.

Once this smells like heaven (it will), you're going to add all of your chopped chilis, and the adobo sauce from the can. Give that about a minute on the heat, stirring it all together. Just a heads up: if you smell the steam directly right now (like I did), you should be fully warned that it will probably burn on the way in. Spicy peppers make spicy steam. Be warned.

Smelling this was probably worth the lung damage and irritation.

Once it's all mixed up and burning your respiratory system, throw in the tomatoes, and get the whole shebang simmering.

ACTION SHOT WOW

Stir up that bad boy every minute for around 5 minutes. Once it's been cooking, you're going to stare at it, and wonder where you went wrong. it's not a great looking thing, but it'll be tasty. Go ahead, sample the mix. It's spicy and warm, without being uncontrollably hot. There's a smokey richness, and plenty of flavor from everything we've thrown in there. If you wanted to change your recipe now, this would probably make a mean chili with some beef and beans thrown in. But we are not done! And we're going to keep making this recipe! You're going to throw your chicken back in there, and make sure they're nestled in this delicious stew. Lower the heat to low, and keep simmering.

Oh, hello.

 At this point, I realized that I was splattering in my kitchen. Since I don't like cleaning, it made sense to toss a splatter guard on the whole thing. I advise you do the same.

Splatter-free is the way to be, kids.

Let this simmer for about 10 minutes. It's going to infuse that chicken with some of the flavor, while beginning the reduction of the sauce. Once that's done, pull that chicken out again. Crank the heat to medium, and reduce the mix to get rid of a lot of the free liquid. You don't want it to be totally dry, but we want a thick, rich, flavorful sauce.

Still not convinced this isn't chili.

Once you have reduced it enough to not look like a soup (another 10 minutes with stirring? sounds right.), you're going to want to get out your Mexican crema.

Mexican crema. Bueno.

If you haven't used this stuff before, it's great. It's not unlike the sour cream you get at Chipotle. It's liquidy, and adds a richness to anything it's on. I really like it, and use it instead of creme fraiche, since I can't find it anywhere, and I don't feel like making some. So use Mexican crema. There are some variations on crema, like the Salvadorian versions, so use whatever you'd like. Turn off the heat, and add about a cup of crema to your tomato/chili/onion/spice mix. Stir it in until combined. Your meal will now have a more orange color, instead of the deep red we saw earlier. Cool. Add your chicken back in, and let it sit for a minute or two, and make sure it's covered in the sauce.

Yes, I know it looks like crap. Shut up.

If you need to tweak any last things, now's a good time. Because you're about to serve, dummy. If you need more crema to balance the heat, add it (or offer it on the side). If it needs some salt, salt away.

Once you're happy with the sauce, it's time to plate that bad boy. I served with rice, so I could soak up more of that delectable sauce, but roasted potatoes would be a great side, as well as veggies or maybe even a pasta like orzo. Plop a breast on or near whatever side you want, and make sure to spoon extra sauce over everything.

Delicious blob, you're the only delicious blob for me.

Does it look pretty? No, absolutely not. But take one bite, and you might even decide to forgive me. It's got that smokey heat from the chipotle, along with substance and some body from the onions and tomatoes, mixed with a tangy richness given from the crema. It's a really tasty meal that can reheat well. It would even go well if chopped up and tossed into a tortilla. It's just one of those comfort food-style meals that you're sure to love.

Love me!

Serve it with an ice-cold cerveza, too. That'll make this meal worth the hour you spent on it!

Enjoy! -AC

Creamy Chipotle Chicken

Recipe from Scott McDonald (Average Cook)

Serves 4. Or one very lonely man 4 times.

• 4 chicken breasts
• 1 small can (7-oz) chipotle peppers in adobo sauce
• 2 small or 1 large white onions
• 2 tbsp garlic, minced
• 1 28-oz can of whole, peeled tomatoes
• 1 cup of Mexican crema, or creme fraiche
• 1 tsp each of ground cumin, oregano, and chili powder
• Salt/pepper

Get a large pot or dutch oven on medium-high heat with  enough oil to coat the bottom of the vessel. Clean/trim chicken, and cover with olive oil and salt and pepper. Once the oil is hot, brown the chicken on both sides. While chicken is browning, chop onion(s) and crush tomatoes in a small bowl with hands. Remove the chicken from the vessel, and add the onion and a pinch of salt. Cook until translucent, scraping the bottom of the pot for the fond. Add the garlic and spices, and cook for a minute, until fragrant. Chop up 4-5 chipotle peppers, and add them to the onion/garlic/spice mixture, cooking until fragrant again. Add the tomatoes, thoroughly mixing the ingredients. Let this mixture simmer for 5 minutes on medium heat. Add the chicken, and continue to simmer on low for 5 minutes. Remove the chicken, and raise heat to medium or medium-high; reduce the mixture enough to remove much of the free liquid. Turn off heat, and stir in the crema. Add the chicken back to the pot, covering with sauce. Let it sit for 5 minutes before serving on rice or roasted potatoes with plenty of sauce.