Gravlax, A Fast-cured Salmon

"I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street."

-W.H. Auden

There are just times when Scandinavian culture is the oddest thing to me. I'm not talking about things like IKEA (though it can be weird in its own right), the Swedish Chef, or the incredibly long words (that oddly all look like IKEA couch names). It's some of the food that's so odd to me. A land full of delicious fish, unique berries and other things, and yet you get lutefisk. I don't get it. Any time I see a list of Scandinavian foods, my Google skills have to fire on all cylinders, trying to make sure I'm getting a tasty treat, and not some fish that's been soaking in lye in the bottom of a burnt out ditch for the last 5 years so I can eat its rotten, half-dessicated corpse.

But every now and then, you find some food with a funny name, and it's the perfect balance of sweet, salty, savory, and fishy. Sup, gravlax?

Gravlax is a cured salmon, that's a great way to impress people with minimal effort. With a few ingredients, like salt, sugar, and some herbs, you can transform everyone's favorite fish into a nice little appetizer that is sure to pique everyone's interest.

In the Middle Ages, this was made by fisherman who would salt, wrap with birch or pine, bury their fish above the tide line, and would wait until it was lightly fermented before digging the whole thing up and going to town on it. Thanks to modern ingenuity, like having the sense to not eat fermented fish that's been buried for weeks, we now just cure the things with some herbs, and call it good.

Even better yet, it doesn't require a stove in any way, shape or form. So in those dog days, you have an option for a no-cook food that's pretty tasty. And more importantly than the heat, you won't even have a chance to set yourself on fire.

But you'll probably do it, anyway.

Sure, you can buy this outright (even IKEA sells it), but I think it's pretty fun to do it yourself. This is one of those gather-up-all-the-crap-you-need-and-shove-it-in-the-fridge-for-a-few-days recipes. I realize that sometimes these recipes have an exhaustive list of ingredients. But we're going to keep it simple this time. You're going to need to gather the following:

"Wait, that's it?" For the edibles, yup. Be glad.

• 1 large hunk of salmon
• Kosher salt
• Sugar
• Pepper
• Dill
• Fennel (optional)

That's it? Yup. That's it. THAT IS IT. However, you're going to need some tools, too. But we'll get to that in a bit. Let's first talk fish.

You know I love talking fish.

You can actually do this with any fatty fish. However, the best results, and most traditional, are going to come from salmon. Because let's be real; if you had access to a super fatty tuna or something, you're either an idiot or an asshole for not eating it a different way. Stick to salmon. Chinook and sockeye are wonderful for this application. But if you're like me, and the idea of a 20-dollar salmon filet is highway robbery to you, stick with Coho. Because we're flavoring and curing, I'm fine with a cheaper fish. True, it will not be as buttery and fatty. True, the color isn't as amazing. But also true, I am no millionaire, and I have probably burnt my mouth so many times on hot pizza that I can't even taste the difference. If you really want to save some dough, find keta salmon. Also known as chum salmon. Also known as "you didn't even care, did you?" salmon.

If you have the patience of a saint, you could always do what I did, and buy a salmon roast. This saves a few bucks per pound, since you'll have to bone the thing yourself. If you like spending time in the kitchen, and have a propensity for ruining things, this is great practice. Personally, after doing this, I'd probably rather put my hand in a running blender.

Feelin' fishy.

So, take your knife and cut around the backbone on this thing. If you're smarter than me, you'll use a more delicate knife than a chef's knife, and avoid all of the rib bones, saving yourself precious time. But I am young and stupid, so there you go.

Yeah, these suck, too.

Then, take your clean pliers, and pull out the pin bones. Or, if you're a pretentious sod and own fish bone tweezers, use those. But if you do own them, you better eat nothing but fish. That's ridiculous.

Two terribly butchered, ugly slices of fish. Earning the "Average" in "Average Cook".

This is pretty much why this blog is called "Average Cook", and not "Average Chef" or "Decent Cook". Clearly, I'm awful at this. But it takes time to practice this, and I don't just have a bunch of salmon roasts lying around. Because that's weird.

So, back to gravlax. Once you've got your salmon filet(s) good to go, you need to start some more prep. Start by grabbing a small roasting pan, or pyrex, or whatever. Something small enough to hold a layer of herbs, and your salmon. Spread out a layer of dill (and other herbs) on the bottom. i'm using dill and fennel, because I wanted a sweet anise-y touch to my gravlax. Some people also use beetroot, horseradish, and other things. They would be just delightful.

In keeping with the Swedish tradition, here is an IKEA roasting pan.

Once you lay that all out, you're going to mix equal parts of kosher salt and sugar together in a bowl. I'd probably recommend a cup of each. Add some pepper, and you're good to go. If you like a sweeter cure, obviously add more sugar. I actually did a 3:2 on salt:sugar, and I felt it was a little too salty for normal snacking. So on your first try, rock a 1:1, and tweak it next time, if you didn't hate it the first time.

This is stupid. I don't need to show you this.

Then take your salmon, and pat it dry. Cake it with with mixture, until you've got this gross-looking, salt-crusted monstrosity. Make sure both sides or covered, skin and flesh. Pat it, rub it, and make sure this thing is covered on all fronts. Lay it down on top of your bed of herbs, greens, and whatever other flavorings you want, and marvel at what you have.

"This looks like crap." Correct!

Once you've got that thing laying down, it's time to cover it with the remaining herbs you've got, so it has its own little bed made of delicious herbiness. Once it's covered, you're going to throw some stretch film/plastic wrap on it, and then press it. We want to keep air out. But again, we need some pressure. We need to press it.

But not like this.

Onto more pressing matters (hohoho, such wonderful puns). You're going to get a brick. Yes, a brick. Like the one from your yard,  your neighbor's wall, or that one you use to threaten local businesses with. Then you're going to wrap it with foil, and place it on top of the salmon, above the plastic wrap. It's going to look ridiculous, but that doesn't matter. Most of the things you probably eat look ridiculous (I'm looking at you, smiley balogna). What this is going to do is press extra moisture out, and help with the texture of the whole shebang.

Brick, meet fish. Fish, brick.

Once you've got this done, you're going to need to sock that bad boy in the fridge, and you're going to wait. Like, 24+ hours. So find something to do, or just stand in your kitchen, I guess. I'm not the boss of you.

Waiting and waiting and waiting.

Once you've gone 24 hours without prodding the damned thing, pull it out of the fridge, and ogle its beauty -- or lack there of.

This is... not as exciting as I had previously hoped.

Prepare to be whelmed. You won't be overwhelmed with excitement, and it shouldn't be disappointing; you will be whelmed. It's going to have a bunch of liquid hanging out on the bottom, and everything's going to be kind of wet and gross. That's great! This is how it should look. Take off the top layer, and survey the fish.

Flip the thing over so it's flesh-side down, then cover it again with the same herbs, new plastic wrap, and the weight. Put it back in the fridge for 1-2 days. And wait.

Maybe pick up a hobby while waiting?

Once that's happened, pull that thing out, and disrobe it in all of its fishy, Scandinavian glory. We're almost done.

Looks like fish. WAY TO GO, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Pat the thing dry, and slice a tiny piece off, and sample it. If the cure seems way too strong, you can briefly run water over it, then immediately pat it completely dry. I think it should be salty and sweet and delicious. You might disagree. But once you're happy with it, start slicing it thinly. How thin? As thin as you can get. Some folks have a better knife set than I, and have flexible knifes, specifically for things like slicing fish. I don't, so I did my best, and it resulted in me hacking up the damn thing as if I needed to hide its body in 29 dumpsters around the state to hide the evidence. Slice thin and on a bias, and you'll be fine.

This was nice, and rarity for my to pull off.

Once you've got some sliced off, put the remainder of the filet into a ziploc bag, and put it in the fridge. It should keep for a week or two, but make sure you inspect it before each use. If it seems off, it might not be worth your time. Or GI failure.

But if it checks out, gravlax on, brother!

Ain't no party like a gravlax party.

This pairs well with lots of things; it's traditionally eaten with a steward sauce, which is a mixture of sour cream, ground mustard, dill, and lemon, but I prefer it with a nice herbed goat cheese on toast. If you serve this to some guests, and let them know you cured it yourself, they're probably going to be impressed, not realizing that all you did was put a bunch of salty fish in a pan and put a brick on it for a while.

Pretty tasty, I must say.

The flavors meld really well; a salty, slightly sweet salmon, with a creamy cheese, with the crunch of toast - it's wonderful. You could make a meal of it, but I think it's best served as an appetizer or small snack. Depending on the size of your fish, you can have a lot of it for a while. Like Jamie Oliver, who apparently decided he needed to feed a family of 40 with the stuff. If you like things like smoked salmon, salty cured meat, and rich flavors, this is definitely a winner.

Bork bork bork! -AC

Gravlax

Recipe from Scott McDonald (Average Cook)

Serving varies with fish and greediness.

• 1 large salmon fillet
• Salt
• Sugar
• Pepper
• Fresh dill
• Other fresh herbs/spices, such as fennel, horseradish, beetroot, etc (optional)

Prepare salmon filet by removing bones, but leaving skin on. Mix equal parts of sugar and salt, with pepper added to taste. Coat both sides of salmon with mixture, and lay in a small pan on a bed of fresh herbs and flavorings, skin down. Cover with more fresh herbs, and cover with plastic wrap. Top with foil-wrapped brick, or other weight, and put in fridge for 1 day. pull out the fish and flip it to be skin side up; cover again with herbs, plastic wrap, and weight, and place in fridge for another 1-2 days. Remove all herbs, pat dry. Slice thinly on a bias and serve. Possible extras include serving with steward sauce or goat cheese on crackers or toast. Wrap up unused salmon in plastic wrap and place in a sealed bag. Will keep for 1-2 weeks.