Primer: Searing Scallops

"I have trouble with seafood because it tastes like a dock."

-Douglas Coupland

Some people have some sort of weird attitude towards cooking seafood. As you saw with such posts as the lobsterventure and the salmon we've covered, many of our favorite seafoods are pretty darned easy to cook. But the scallop? "Oh Lord, AC, I could never!" You squeal, terrified of the prospect of being proud of some seriously good grub. "I just don't understand simple processes!"

Let me help. Here's an easy primer on prepping some simple scallops.

Scallops are an odd little creature. They're a bivalve mollusk that grows in a million different places, and can be cooked in so many delicious ways. I've had scallop scampi, fried scallops, scallop salad, scallop sushi, and grilled scallops. I've eaten a lot of scallops.

I think I just realized Bubba is my spirit animal.

But seared scallops? There's just something special about seared scallops. When cooked right, they're not going to be rubbery, which is a common complaint of inexperienced scallop searers. If you overcook it, it's straight to tasting like an unholy abomination of calamari and a leather boot. Delicious, I know.

Seared scallops have just the perfect amount of golden brown crust on the outside, with a slightly warm, fresh center that tastes like the ocean and summer days at the beach. I love them. And they're ridiculously simple to make. You're going to need the following:

"I think you forgot something." No. I didn't.

• Scallops
• Oil (High-heat oil. Canola/Vegetable)
• Salt/Pepper
• Pan

Yes. That's it. That is all you need. There are so few things here, the above photo actually looks anemic. Yeah. YEAH. Take that, folks who complain there's too much stuff on these recipes!

The first thing you're going to need to do is unwrap and dry off your scallops. The bigger they are, the better. But that also means more and more expensive. I think I bought these "on sale" for around 12 bucks a pound. That's not a cheap date, but I think I only bought a half pound for two people. Use your own discretion.

These were actually pretty funny looking. IDK. Work with what you've got.

The reason we're drying these off is simple. If you don't, they're not going to sear. They're going to steam. And though they'd probably still be alright, that's not what we're going for. We need to call back on the power of the Maillard reaction. Remember that? We talked about it concerning our pot roast. You don't remember it? Put down the bottle, get a hold of your life, and start remembering why you're here. To read my awful ramblings learn how to cook! So get your head in the game, and bone up on your food chemistry!

Normally, decent scallops will be this perfect little round cylinder that will sit on its ends to get its signature crust. Mine were... not as nice. So bear with me. The process is the same, but the results won't look as good. But you're probably used to that when you see my photos, anyway. Womp womp.

Once those puppies are dry, you're going to season them. Lightly salt and pepper, and that's it. You could probably do some other seasoning, but I think it's unneeded. We want these to taste like, well, scallops. And adding rosemary and thyme and garlic and hand-crushed ancho chiles and whatever else you dug up from some episode of Iron Chef or Chopped isn't going to help. Or, if you're stubborn, make it this way today, and next time you can ruin it. You're the master of your mollusks.

Put enough oil in your pan to coat the bottom. I've done with with nonstick, but some people argue that you're going to release chemicals and kill yourself and instantly gain cancer and mutate into some terrible monster. I use stainless. Cast iron might be good, too. Use whatever you'd like.

But this guy was normal before he superheated a teflon pan.

Crank that heat and get the pan and oil dangerously hot. Grab your scallops, because you're going to need to work quickly. As soon as the oil gets wisps of smoke, start plopping the scallops down into the pan. I recommend that you do this in a circular motion, starting at the "12" position. That way, you know which scallops was placed first.

You might get smoke. Cool. You might get a little burnt while placing these on the pan. Cool. But this is going to be super tasty. Really cool.

"Circular" is a loose term?

These will only need to sit on the heat for about 1.5 minutes. Yes, it's that quick. As soon as you hit the 90 second mark, flip those bad boys over, so they can start crusting on the other side.

This is what you want!

Once they've sat on the hot pan for another 90 seconds, check them, and take them off the heat. They're good to go! If you're like me, you'll be dumb and use tongs. Most of your crust will stick, and you'll have to re-sear the outside. Which increases your chance for a chewy, rubbery interior. Ew.

Have the rest of your sides good to go. We were eating these for a nice Saturday lunch, so I served with an easy salad. It was scrumptious. The natural brine of the scallops shines through, and with a little pepper and an extra pop of salt, the caramelized outside is nothing short of fantastic. It's quick, it's easy, and you're going to love it. I guarantee it.

I... I love you. I love you, scallops. And I don't care who knows.

Wine would be a fantastic drink, maybe a crisp white. Our salad had leeks, cucumber, feta, and a red pepper dressing over spinach. It was fantastic. And with this simple primer, you should be enjoying it in no time!

Enjoy! -AC

Seared Sea Scallops

Recipe from Scott McDonald (Average Cook)

Serves 2 adults. Unless you want to deprive the ocean of its bounty.

• 1/2 pound of Sea Scallops
• High heat oil (vegetable, canola)
• Salt/pepper
• Heavy-bottomed fry pan

Pat sea scallops dry. Season with salt and pepper. Place enough oil in the pan to coat the bottom. Heat on high heat, until wisps of smoke form. Place scallops on end in circular shape. Let sear for 90 seconds on the first side, then 90 seconds on the other side. Immediately serve.