Citrus-Glazed Salmon

"It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings." 

-Kurt Cobain

Everybody likes a quick meal. Often I find myself wanting to cook something delicious and fresh, but do not want to spend all the time cooking, cleaning, acting like I know what I'm doing, entertaining myself while I wait for something to sautee -- you get the drift. Here's a quick and easy salmon recipe that I love.

This is a recipe that doesn't come from the magic recipe box. This one comes from some intense googling, thought processes, and merging a million recipes that I found. Or at least that's how I remember it. Stay with me, here.

I really like fish, but I often have trouble cooking it. I tend to overcook or not know how to cook different fish. Somewhere in the back of my brain is a section devoted to cooking oddly specific things like fish. This list includes tuna (sear!), tilapia (butter poach!), rockfish (panko crumb and fry!), and halibut (oh shit I have no idea. Where the hell do I even get halibut around here?). But my go to tends to be delicious salmon.

Probably stemming from my Pacific Northwest upbringing, I have a strange affection for salmon. As in, I could probably eat it every waking moment for the rest of my days, and be happy. It's an extremely versatile fish with a strong, meaty texture that can be grilled, marinated, roasted, baked, or fried. Fried salmon is weird to me, though. Use a different fish (OH WAIT THAT IS WHAT HALIBUT IS FOR NOW I REMEMBER).

Salmon also lends itself to some very fast cooking. As soon as that thing firms up and gets lighter, you're good to go. Unless you're way into sushi. But hey, I'm telling you to a) not buy sushi grade for this method, and b) if I was trying to make my own sushi, I'd have been dead a decade ago. This preparation pats down a solid layer of delicious brown sugar and spices over the fish, which is then broiled to a sweet, citrus-y glass that pairs well which the rich fish. Jesus, that sounds pretentious. Anyway, you're going to need the following for this preparation:

"Fish, fish, spice, spice, spice, spice, salt (spice), fruit, sugar. Got it. Wait. Pliers?" Yes.

• 2 pieces of salmon, 8oz+ each
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper (if you're using pre-ground pepper, stop it. Right now. Stop it. STOP.)
• 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper
• 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1.5 teaspoons salt
• ~ 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1 lemon for zest

We're not going to preheat the oven, yet. Since we're going to be broiling, you won't need a long heat up time, and you'll probably burn your house down in the process. For some reason, I have an irrational fear of leaving a broiler alone for more than 12.3 seconds. I assume once I go past that, all is lost, and I need to just wait for the place to burn down. But realistically, hey, do whatever you want. I'm not the one paying your fire insurance. And you probably haven't changed the batteries in your smoke detector, so you've got that going for you, too.

Where was I? Right. don't preheat your oven. Grab your salmon, and grab your pliers. This is where it's going to get fun. Or not. Frankly, I think this is a pain in the ass.

So, I didn't get a particularly nice salmon. Keta has been on sale, which has good flavor, but I tend to find more pinbones in it. But again, the flavor is good. It's a wild salmon, and probably a great addition to your diet. But since this blog isn't making me millions (yet?), and I work a standard day job in a lumber mill, I can't afford buying Chinook (King) salmon every chance I get. That stuff is somewhere around 12 bucks a pound, here. Yes, it is cheaper than going out. No, I am cheap sometimes and don't care. I think this was around $7/lb. I just checked in with some stupid zoom. Yup. I'm going to write more on picking your salmon later, but for now, let's focus on sticking with Wild Salmon, and I'll place a link HERE whenever I write my 18-page treatise on salmon-picking.

You can feel the pinbones in your salmon, and with some varieties, they're pretty noticeable. Like this Keta. Feel them, grab with pliers, and rip them out.

Find bone. Grab bone. Pull like a real man, and remove bone. Easy.

"But Average Cook", you ask, "What if I want to keep the bones in there, and do this at a later time?" I honestly don't care. Some people don't remove the bones. However, I will point out that I like this recipe enough that I will dive into it, face melting from the molten sugar, exposed cheekbones from burnt flesh, and inevitably eat one of these stupid things. And by God, they just hurt like the dickens going down. So, keep that in mind. I recommend pulling the bones you can find. You'll probably also ask me whether a pair of pliers is safe or sanitary, or ask if I know that there are tools for just a job. I clean my pliers and swab them with alcohol to make sure there's no issue, and those tools are dumb. I'm not paying thirty dollars for something that's cross between a toenail clipper and a tweezer. Needlenose work fine. But again, you're the sultan of your salmon; you do you.

Once you've pulled the bones, you'll have some fish. good job, it looks like you've either a) made zero progress, whatsoever, or b) mangled the fish as though you had actually intended to rig it with C4. Either way, great job! Let's make some sugary things.

Look! And you only mangled them so they look pre-chewed!

You're going to mix the brown sugar with all of the spices, and the zest of a whole lemon. This isn't tough. You can do this! Then you're going to combine until it looks pretty much the same all the way through. Great!

Look! A wild unappetizing mix of seasoning appears!

Once mixed, you're going to take all of that delicious mix, and pack it onto the surface of the salmon. Make sure you get as much of the meat surface as possible. If you pile it on too thick, though, it might get a little chewy, like a caramel, more than a glaze. Keep that in mind. But fully cover the surface. Once you do this, let the whole thing sit for 15 minutes.

Okay, yes, it doesn't look great. YET.

The salt is going to draw out some moisture, and provide enough sticking power on this that you should have no issues. Let's take a quick gander at the process below:

This is probably the least interesting time lapse you've seen in a while, isn't it?

 Once you've gotten the sugar topping to be pretty much wet all the way through, transfer to a broiler pan or dish or whatever's safe to broil. Word to the wise: I forgot to put foil or parchment or anything except nonstick spray down. This was the worst idea I've had in a while (and that's saying something). The smell of burnt sugar filled the house, and we had to air out the joint. Because I'm an idiot. Do as I say, not as I do.

Not pictured: the parchment or foil that will make your life infinitely easier.

Once you have this all ready, fire up your broiler, and once it's hot, throw it in for around 8 minutes. You're going to smell burnt sugar. It's going to smell like burnt and death and fish and more death, but stay vigilant! it will be worth it! As soon as you see it done, you'll forgive every terrible thing I've made you do in that oven!

"Okay, maybe I forgive you. A little. Maybe." I can live with that.

Your salmon should be visibly cooked down to the skin, and should have a little bit of flake to it. The sugar should have melted into a delicious, citrus-flavored glaze that coats the salmon (and the inside of your pan, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry). If you fear it's not done, throw it back in. You're not in trouble until the sugar on the fish starts to burn. But I've never been that stupid, and I'm pretty dumb.

Pictured: me being pretty dumb.

Once it's cooked, throw that on a plate, and you're good! I served mine with some delicious sauteed mushrooms and a cauliflower mash. I'll probably feature those at some point, if there's some interest. 

And all it took was 30 minutes and the stench of burnt death! Amen!

The salmon's richness pairs really well with the bright citrus. You can substitute any citrus into this recipe; I usually use orange, but wanted lemon this time for kicks. The great part about this recipe is that start to finish, it can take as little as 30 minutes. The bad part is that you're probably going to burn sugar to something, like I did, if you don't use parchment or foil. The flipside of that is that once you're done scrubbing your pan, you now have the grip strength of a silverback gorilla on one hand! Kudos!

This is a recipe probably more enjoyed fresh than reheated. Your officemates will love the smell of reheated fish in the microwave. Just kidding, they'll burn you at the stake for it. Hooray!

Enjoy! -AC

PS, I don't expect you to understand, but I can't tell you how many times I accidentally typed my friend Sahmon's name in this article during the draft. This would have made for a very awkward recipe.

Citrus-Glazed Salmon

Recipe from Scott McDonald (Average Cook)

Serves 2 adults, or 16 people who think a salmon fillet in an insurmountable, daunting task.

• 2 pieces of salmon, 8oz+ each 
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
• 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper 
• 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper 
• 1 teaspoon chili powder 
• 1.5 teaspoons salt 
• ~ 1/2 cup brown sugar 
• 1 lemon or orange for zest
• TOOL: Plier or pinbone tool
• TOOL: Zester/microplane 

Use pliers or pinbone remover to pull out all visible/reachable bones in the salmon fillets. In a small bowl, mix all other ingredients, using a microplane or zester to zest an entire lemon or orange for zest. Mix spices and sugar to taste. Pat down salmon, and coat liberally with sugar/spice mixture. Let sit for 15 minutes, until top of the fillets and mixture look wet. Preheat broiler, and place foil/parchment on pan to go into broiler. Place coated salmon fillets on pan and broil for 8 minutes, or until salmon is cooked through and sugar mixture has melted and glazed the fillet. Serve immediately.